Greasy Haired Pachuco

A common, garden variety Pachuco boy. A slime ball with greasy hair. The Pachuco puts grease into his hair to show the world that he is a stupid, worthless punk who refuses to work for a living. Instead of working, he collects all the entitlements handed to him by liberal polliticians. He spends his time loitering outside pool halls and liquor stores, picking his teeth with a switchblade knife and intimidating passers-by with remarks like, "Hey, mon, this is MY turf."

In the early Twenty First Century, the worst kind of Greasy Haired Pachuco is the Bald-Headed Greasy Haired Pachuco. These worthless Pachukes shave their heads to pretend they are prison inmates, all the better to impress each other and the local cholas. (If there's anything a chola loves more than greasy hair, it's a bald head.)

Listen up, you Greasy Haired Pachuco. Oakland is NOT your turf! I was born in Oakland before your ignorant Mama was born, and it's MY turf.

Join the movement to exterminate rats, fleas, AIDS, termites, Crips, Bloods, and Greasy Haired Pachucos from Oakland.

69👍 77👎