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grizzly bear

One B.A.M.F. of a bear. Unlike it's relative the brown bear, this beast will kick the ever loving shit out of YOU. Seriously, these things are huge mother fuckers, and could kick Mr. T's ass. If you encounter a grizzly, don't run; They're faster. Don't try to climb a tree; They're faster. Don't hide; They're smarter. And they can see through walls. And trees. They grizzly was once very similar to the brown bear, but while the brown bear decided to go on its pussy bitch ways, the grizzly decided to break anything that tried fucking with it, from small children to garbadge trucks. Over time, this case of serious bad assery allowed the grizzly to evolve and level up, allowing him to gain new abilities, skils and powers. Once the grizzly reaches a new level (which should be within the next year if it continues its grinding patterns), it will gain the LAZER eye ability, poplarized by the great eagle of Anubarak. Needles to say, once the grizzly reaches level 527, we're all pretty much fucked. Running a simulation to detrermine the average experience per annum devided by the increasing level requirement, we can predict the grizzly will rule the world by mid-to-late 22 century. The only option and chance of survival if a grizzly is encountered on your travels is to seranade it by speaking kindly and softy (and possibly making slight innuendo implications), and praying not only to your god, but to every god you know of that the monster before you takes pitty on your pathetic attempt to beg for your life, and decides your tough meat might infect its young and you're too feeble for it to simply club to death with its massive, yet somehow gentle claws. That, or if you have a gun. A fucking huge gun. Oh, and in the case of a zombie invasion, if there are zombie grizzlys, the world is FUCKED. Straight up. That is, if the grizzly can get infected. That means the zombies would have to get close enough to the bear to bite it. And that's just plain not going to happen. Rest easy young ones, rest easy. For now.

Joe: OMFG Bob, that's a Grizzly Bear!

*In a matter of seconds, due to the lack of response from Bob, Joe will realise Bob ran upon seeing the bear and neglected to tell Joe out of pure fear and as to give him a better chance of escaping. Joe dies within 0.02 seconds of this realisation, and despite his obvious advantage, Bob is hunted and killed within 0.04 seconds. You see, when your chance of escape is 0%, it doesn't matter how much you multiply it by, you're still fucked.*

by Mister Moo August 4, 2007

499๐Ÿ‘ 126๐Ÿ‘Ž


grizzly bear

When a guy shaves his pubic hair and hides them under a pillow, then while receiving felatio, he pulls out, ejaculates in her face, and pushes her face into the pile of pubes. When she comes up, she will be covered in pubes, giving the appearance of a grizzly bear, then (understandably angry) wil make noise that make her sound like a grizzly as well *Grrrrr*

"I gave this girl a grizzly bear, damn was she pissed"

by Nick and Brian August 22, 2006

183๐Ÿ‘ 102๐Ÿ‘Ž


grizzly bears

packing a lip of awesome grizzly wintergreen, mint, straight, or natural tobacco.

I packed huge grizzly bears when playing mario cart.

by MDubbs January 9, 2007

35๐Ÿ‘ 25๐Ÿ‘Ž


Grizzly Bear

No match for the guy on a buffalo.

A grizzly bear is no match for the guy on a buffalo.

"Oh, no! He's gonna chase me! Oh, no. I better just turn around and chase him back. Guess what?! I'm on a buffalo."

by whiteshadow204 October 14, 2011

22๐Ÿ‘ 17๐Ÿ‘Ž


Grizzly Bear

A huge, brown forest animal that may look cute and majestic, but woe onto those who get
too close to them and/or piss them off....just ask Timothy Treadwell

Frank: Hey Bill, you wanna go camping this weekend?
Bill: No! Are you nuts!? Some dude got mauled by a grizzly bear yesterday!
Frank: Good point, looks like another trip to Vegas for us

by Metallicajunkie September 30, 2018

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Grizzly Bear

An old man who dates woman considerabley younger than him. Usually wealthy, they often attract models and gold diggers. The male equivalant of a cougar.

Guy: "Did you hear Hugh Hefner has already moved in three new girlfriends?"
Guy 2: "Yeah man, what a grizzly bear."

by jessemuthafu_kinbryan123 July 12, 2009

14๐Ÿ‘ 31๐Ÿ‘Ž


grizzly bear

A woman gets pleasure from tearing lumps of flesh from a mans back during sex.

when i first met my flat mates i was wearing nothing but a devet and was covered in scratches from a grizzly bear

by lazyawol February 16, 2007

18๐Ÿ‘ 47๐Ÿ‘Ž