Gu Shu

A type of high quality tea made from tea trees that are at least 1.5 billion years old. This tea is made from the first leaf that grows exactly at 2:00am on the fourth day of spring. The leaves are hand picked by ancient Chinese gorillas and pan fried over a dragon's fire breath. To fully enjoy this tea, you must use a Yixing teapot that has been hand crafted by an ancient Chinese monk between the years 1750-1751. The tea must be brewed at exactly 373.5 degrees Kelvin, otherwise the aromatics will be lost. To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Gu Shu.

Hey Tyrone, pass that dank Gu Shu Pu