Talk the hair off a monkey.

A term for when a person is incessantly talking shit.

Bob - So i go to the supermarket and I get this trolley with a dodgy wheel...blah blah blah...what the hell do women have in thier hand bags...blah blah blah...Garlic Bread! Garlic Bread!...blah blah blah...

Mike - Bob, shut the fuck up! You can Talk the hair off a monkey.

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Hair monkey

A small gathering of ass-crack hair that's been accidentally twisted into a dreadlock while wiping, using "natural glue."

"Man, I gotta get my girlfriend to trim those hair monkeys down there--every time I wipe I pull on 'em!"

Hair of the monkey

A beer that is drank in the morning after heavy drinking to cure a beer induced hangover.

You ever wake up from camping hungover from beer, so you take a hair of the monkey and you're in the clear