Hairy Bean

A sad and lonely creature which somehow violates all laws of logic by being just as homophobic as it is homosexual. A Canadian closet Jew born in Miami, Brazil. Is usually seen mopping up - without utensils - at the local peep show. Moves often. Moves are often directly proportionate to international adult magazine selection at public library. Better known as the I-AM-SAP index.

Person A: "Wow, that Gay Canadian Hebrew just called me a fag!"

Person B: "Dude, relax, that's just Hairy Bean"

Person A: "Oh! How could I have missed the t-shirt of Armless Ali?! Wow, this is great!"

Person B: "Yeah, it means there is some kick ass I-AM-SAP within a 5 mile radius!"

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Hairy Bean Bag

A man nut sack or scrotum with pubic hair.

Suck my hairy bean bag you fucking moolie.

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Hairy Bean Man [HBM]

A Hairy Bean Man - HBM for short - is a term used to describe a certain type of laid back, crunchy, shaggy hippie guy. They are generally short - under 6" tall - skinny, guys with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes who abide like the Dude and toke up like Tommy Chong.

Hair⋅y (Pronunciation hair-ee, adjective) is derived from the usual bearded, shaggy and/or Mountain Man-esque appearance of the HBM.

Bean (Pronunciation been, noun) comes from the traditional diet of the HBM, which is usually vegetarian or at least as crunchy as they are. As hippies, many HBMs are also vegetarians, and must get their protein from sources other than meat, i.e. beans.

Man (noun) : obvious reasons.

OTHER HBM BEHAVIORS INCLUDE:
-being eco friendly (or at least appearing to be)
-being a registered democrat (or in some extreme cases, supporting Ralph Nader)
- smelling like patchouli oil
- smoking copious amounts of marijuana
- being an environmental science and/or philosophy major
- attending colleges in Vermont or Colorado
- listening to jambands/attending music festivals
- wearing patchwork clothing/Birkenstocks
- hating the man/organized religion
- referring to jamband members by their first name ("oh my god dude, did you see Trey's set last night?")
- driving a jetta

Hairy Bean Men HBM LOOK LIKE:
- Ray LaMontagne
- Billy Crudup (ala almost famous)
- Devendra Banhart
- Jesus

"I met a really cool Hairy Bean Man HBM on Shakedown at the UC-Boulder Phish show this weekend! His HBM friends were all kinda spun out and needed to shave/take a bath, but he was still mad cool and smoked us all up."