handy special

the somewhat politically correct term for a person/place/thing that is incapable of reaching its destined maximum potential

candice: man i hate the brakes on this van, they're retarded

carly: no candice, you mean 'handy special'

candice: you are still trying to be politically correct? *sigh*

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The Handy Special

The Handy Special is a Newbury Park legend, not a myth but fact. Commonly described as the ultimate pain of one’s popliteal, hammy, and calves. Lengend is told that The Handy Special is and only performed by BWH the legend himself, commonly performed with the grip end of a a driver with an extra stiff shaft, double armed swung directly to the back of one’s knee area. If one is a victim of The Handy Special should seek out medical attention immediately. If not treated will result in muscle failure, muscle decay, extreme foot fungus, ED, COPD, and tendency to change genders.

“Oh my lord that kid is late to the van, he’s getting the Handy Special”
“I wasn’t able to to produce offspring after that”
“First victim was Connor Phillpot”

Handy Special

A little handicap and a little special ed.

Stop being so Handy Special and read the directions.