Happitarian

One who only eats happy meat. Often mistaken for a vegetarian, but these folks have no hard feelings about eating meat, as long as it's free-range, grass-fed, organic, happy meat.

Often broke, as happy meat tends to be expensive.

Karl: I never see you eat any meat, Sue, Are you a vegetarian?

Sue: Nah, I love meat too much to give it up completely. I just eat happy meat.

Karl: Oh. You're a happitarian. (Snorts in disgust)

Sue: That's right!

Karl: Well, I'm off to Burger King, where I can get a hot, juicy burger for pennies. No veg-meat for me.

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