A bicycle with no rear suspension.
You would be much more comfortable mountain biking with decent rear suspension instead of your old hardtail.
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the hottest pants known to man, when tight enough they can become near transparent
Holy shit loook you can obviously seee that pink thong through hose hardtails
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in mountain biking someone who who has hardtail pride rides a bike with no rear suspension and shreds up trails that would make kids on squishes weep
you shred down a knar rock bed and i kid walking his (parent bought) stinky down might yell out "HARDTAIL PRIDE" as a sign of respect
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