Highway Hazard

1. a person that engages in dangerously distracting behavior while driving on the interstate, probably due to brain damage, insanity, or a criminal lack of common sense.

2. a jackass that talks on his cell phone while swerving through traffic at 80 mph.

3. a douche bag that you see on the interstate that is creeping into your lane because he's looking down at a text message instead of at the road.

4. a bottom feeder driving down the highway at 5:00 in the morning with their cabin light on so that they can read the book propped up on their steering wheel.

5. a feckless turd that eats a full breakfast requiring both hands and/or utensils while pathetically trying not to endanger every single other person on the freeway.

I saw a total Highway Hazard on the way to work this morning. This bitch was smoking with one hand and texting with the other; who the fuck knows how she was steering. Why do we let people like that breed again? That's the kind of dumbass that only wears a seatbelt because the law says they have to.

My carpool buddy decided to look up Amendments on his phone while driving yesterday. Dude's turning into a fucking Highway Hazard.

So my friend texted me like 10 times while I was driving home from work last week. After I got home and actually checked the texts, I called him back and told him not to get his panties in a bunch. I sure as shit not going to be a Highway Hazard. Fuck that; I saw Seven Pounds.

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