Hold the Phone

An exclamation used when something is overwhelming and/or unbelievable.

Rolls off the tongue similar to “Holy F___” and, as such, is used as a safe alternative.

Also has a literal sense in that, if incredible news etc came in, you would literally need to, “hold the phones,” and reassess the situation.

“I know it’s very common but I’ve actually never eaten food.”

“Hold the phone! How have you never eaten?!”

“Osmosis.”

Hold the phone

Often used in an insulting way when an unintelligible comment has been made.

Can however be used when you've missed some piece of information and need to be informed.

1) Guy 1: Even though my place was locked I suspect that someone broke it, clubbed me over the head, spread beer bottles around me, and then pissed on my playstation 2.
Guy 2: Hold the phone! There's a playstation 2?

2) Guy 1: So Cindy asked me what my job was after we did it, and I asked her why she was still here.
Guy 2: Whoa, whoa, hold the phone, how'd you hook up with her?

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Holding the phone

Another way of describing masturbating, both female and male.

Billy whys your hand so wet? Ah was just holding the phone mate?

Yeah its a real tragedy, ever since she broke up she's just been holding hte phone

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Holding the phone wrong

A transfer of the blame from an obvious mistake from you to a large group of people.

Instead of admitting his huge mistake, Steve told his shareholders and fans, "You're holding the phone wrong."