Extremely good comeback for anyone, whether its a bully, friend or someone online calling you "gay" or anything similar in an attempt to offend and provoke you. If only I came up with this insult when an old friend called me a gay person.
Person 1: Why are you touching me? Are you gay?
Person 2: Bro, I'm Straighter than the pole your mom dances on
Person 1: (Speechless)