I am the manager

What you say to customers, who have nothing better to do than complain and blame you for their life problems, when they believe that you are the bane of their existence ( usually via coupons expiring, websites being faulty or the weather being dangerous), but it is your job to not only deal with said problems, but also show that you know exactly what you are doing. All while not telling them that they are idiots and/or that they need to learn common sense or manners.

Customer: why won't you deliver to me?
Me: there's ice on the roads, a major accident, Nuclear fallout and you're out of our area
Customer: I need to speak to a manager
Me:*turns 360 degrees* I am the manager