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what females say when they're completely in love with him to the point where it hurts and they're just trying to convince/gaslight themselves into thinking they hate him but all they actually need to do is cry about him and the massive hollow feeling being utterly in love with him has left in you're stomach to the point where you want to do anything to get rid of the feeling (namely, trying to start hating him even though you can't)
i hate him so much, in all honesty though, i hate how much i love him and how how much i can't bring myself to hate him
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