Illuminati Popper

A large quantity of pepper spray administered directly to the motherfucking face, a la UC Davis Occupy protesters.

"I love the smell of Illuminati Poppers in the morning."

"It's nothing that some screwball media spin and Illuminati Poppers can't fix."

"I was getting bored of this whole protest thing, but those Illuminati Poppers really gave me my second wind!"

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