Imaginary Girlfriend

A nonexistent girlfriend (not that internet service schtick). I have one of these. The pros far outway the cons. No dates to remember, no birthdays, so you can basically be a slob and get away with it. If you give her some interesting problems, she'll really be 3 dimensional. Mine's a kleptomaniac and a narcissist.

Mom: Where are all your pens?
Me: Bonnie must have stolen them.
Mom: Who the hell's Bonnie?
Me: Exactly.

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imaginary girlfriend syndrome

A condition in which a friendzoned guy begins to treat one of his female friends as a girlfriend, by being overbearing and overprotective around her

Jon: Hey, do you know why Bill was so mad at me when I told him I was spending time with our mutual friend Alice?
Phil: No idea... sounds like an imaginary girlfriend syndrome though!