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In rehab
Guy1: Where is Johnny?
Guy1: He is in Florida again
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Florida is a state in the southeastern most part of the US. Its known for its beaches, crime, and smelly old people.
Most people say Florida only has one season, which is ridiculous, for Florida has many seasons! There's tourist, hurricane, swimsuit, rainy, college(aka: Spring break) and snow bird season!
If you're on the gulf, the best time to go to the beach is November. By far the worst time is College season, which seems to be nothing more than all the college's in the country collaborating against us poor locals, sending wave after wave of their craziest 'students' to come tear up our beaches, jam up our roads, and cause a number of drunk-driving accidents over the course of 5-6 weeks.
As for the old people. There are lots of them. There are tons and tons, MASSES. The dominate every aspect of life, most respectable neighborhoods are built to accommodate those them. My neighborhood recreational center? The golf center.
Driving in Florida is not dangerous, its FUN. Stop signs? Who needs them! Turning signals? They're for pussies! And speed limits? PSH! If your 60 or older, you drive at least 20 miles under the speed limit, if your 25 and younger, you drive 20 miles OVER the speed limit, and if you're a tourist you drive however slowly or quickly it takes for you to get that picture of the pelican shitting.
A nice place to live sometimes, but a better place to just visit.
Florida's weather is also extremely bipolar. Just today, it had been ultra-warm and foggy with no sun to be seen like it had been for the last 3 days. Then, while sitting outside for lunch, suddenly the sun came out and all the clouds dissipated at once, lifting the fog and leaving the wind free to make us cold. Now, only 3 hours later, its sunny and chilly.
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A punching bag for hurricanes.
Florida: "Hurricane? Headed our way? Shit, not again."
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An old Spanish word for 'FUCK SNOW'.
Dude, fuck snow. I'm moving to Florida.
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Florida can be divided into two distinct regions: north Florida and south Florida. North Florida has a more "Deep South" feel, while in south Florida, it seems that everyone is from New York, is Jewish, is Hispanic, or any combination of these. The person before who said that north florida has all the old people must be living under a rock. You can't go on any road in SoFlo where there isn't some old geezer in a Buick driving 15 mph and holding up traffic
North Florida resident: My name's Billy Bob and I enjoy huntin, fishin, n muddin. South Florida resident: My name is Jonah Goldstein and I enjoy playing golf, shuffleboard, and bingo.
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A state with two seasons... Summer and January 14th.
I went to Florida for Christmas break... It felt like I was there for SPRING Break.
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State that is constantly called out in weird news reports. Most likely caused by people reinforcing their stereotypes of the state.
Where's our wacky Florida news?
-We're still looking.
In other news, where else but Florida; man dresses as alligator for court appearance only to.....
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