In a chimp's cock

A slang expression, meaning "not likely" or "impossible".

A balanced view from this? In a chimp's cock.

(See "The Day Today" with Chris Morris)

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two shakes of a chimps cock

To be there in a minute. The full version of 'there in two shakes'.

'I'll be there in two shakes of a chimps cock Vera', shouted Mavis before grabbing her coat, rushing to the front door and setting off for a good night at the bingo.

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