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A short publication that would have saved you a lot of time if you bothered to read it. However, reading an instruction manual before attempting to assemble/use the product with which it came is a sure sign of mental and physical weakness.
Manuals come free with purchases of self-assembly furniture, electronic products, children’s toys and many, many other products.
Some of these products are so simple to use, (eg. A padlock) that a 55 page, multi-lingual, fully referenced brochure doesn’t really seem necessary
When writing an instruction manual, follow these simple rules and you can’t fail;
1. Make the pages from stiff, shiny paper so that it’ll only stay open at the right page with the help of a rock, a toolbox and a dining room table positioned on each corner.
2. Make an extensive ‘Contents Page’ using the smallest font available and ensuring that you number the chapters, sections and sub-sections. Do this even if you only have 3 pages.
3. If applicable, include an illustration of the parts the buyer SHOULD have received and make sure this includes a picture of the manual itself.
4. When you reach the English chapter, don’t be tempted to waste money on a translator, as you can simply guess most English words and make up the rest as you go along.
5. Be sure to include diagrammatical information where appropriate – get a four year old child to help you with the drawings.
6. Make the manual's cover attractive to women so that they can sit on their comfy sofas and shout directions at their husband/boyfriend when they are doing perfectly well with superior male intuition (and brute force)
The instruction manual was written in total gibberish.
The instruction manual's glossary section was extremely useful.
Jack: Would you like to learn how your phone works in Arabic?
Jill: Oh Yes Please!
Jack: Here you are, it starts on page 205.
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A detailed instruction and guide for various operations at Plant II. Its intent is to apply LEAN manufacturing concepts and initiatives. While never used, this document consumed hundreds of hours of preparation time. It's true benefit to cost ratio still remains unknown.
"Hey Aaron, let's go to Plant II and see how things are going with the Plant II instruction manual." "Sounds good Carl, but before we go check that out let's go get some breakfast at McDonald's and see who we can catch cheating on their 10 minute break by going to the gas station for coffee."
Speaking of which, have you seen that video of Reagan from the 60s? Where he outlines the rhetoric used by the "communist actors?" It's crazy. You should check it out.
Hym "It's like an instruction manual! He outlines the rhetoric the communists are going to use. He says 'They will come under the guise of "Anti-fascist" ' and-so-on-and-so-forth and it very much parallels the current political discourse. You have the religious baseline
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And then you have Reagan's instructions regarding a counter-narrative which is (word-for-word) the current left-wing position
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And this play on a loop in the media. No real discourse occurs. Reconciliation is impossible. But don't worry about. Just work hard and be friendly. Its just this:
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Except at in incline. It just does that forever. The negative feedback loop. That's what I mean when I say 'negative feedback loop' and they LITERALLY televised the instruction manual for the creation of the loop everyone to see and then they lobotomized anyone who didn't sit in the feedback loop and wait patiently for death. That's the REAL reason they like Regan (The conservatives). He created the feedback loop that keeps their LITERAL narcissistic psychopath God safe forever! You can't keep it safe from me. I'll get to it."