Internet Theory

The theory consists of 3 main Sections:
1. You are a virgin. No matter who you think you are, or what you think you do outside of the internet, you are a virgin, any attempt to deny it makes you a gay virgin.

2. You have never won a football championship. Similar to S(1), you will never amount to anything, and any attempt at suggesting you have any sort of athletic talent is a complete fallacy, you are a lonely nerd.

3. If you are playing videogames and are older than 18, you're a 'no-life'+(s)1+(s)2. Seriously, it doesn't matter if you're in school to become an engineer, lawyer, neurobiologist etc, if you're playing a videogame at this age, whether it be with your old pals during study week, there's no way you will not be living on the street

1.
*xXxdr4g0npr0xXx has been killed by john_doe*
xXxdr4g0npr0xXx: ur s00 g4y fagg0t
john_doe: k
xXxdr4g0npr0xXx: i b3t ur a virgin!!!!!

*A prime example of Internet Theory (S)1

2.
david_doe: I'm in such a good mood today, my school just won our regional football tournament today and I got one of the touchdowns!
xXxdr4g0npr0xXx: lol no u didnt ur just a fag who lives in ur room cuz ur a virgin

*A prime example of Internet Theory (S)2

3.
martin_doe: When is someone going to fix the crash to desktop error with that one loading screen...? :(
xXxdr4g0npr0xXx: get a better computer u fag
martin_doe: What does this have to do with the quality of my computer?
xXxdr4g0npr0xXx: lol ur uneducated rnt uÉÉ
martin_doe: No, I'm actually a 19-year-old English major.
xXxdr4g0npr0xXx: LOL 19 YEARS OLD??? U LIVE IN UR MOMS BASEMENT STILL U VRIGIN FAG?!?! LOLOL LOLUMAD!!!

*A prime example of Internet Theory (S)3

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Inevitable Internet Entropy Theory

The theory that given time everything on the Internet will devolve into poor quality content designed to drive advertisement revenue through clickbait, stolen, and/or inflammatory content.

To see evidence of the Inevitable Internet Entropy theory one need look no further than once-lauded sites as The Huffington Post, Slate, and Time.

Greater internet Fuckwad Theory

Normal Person+Anonymity+Audience=Total Fuckwad

the theory that people act like jerks because they want attention and can't be caught.


originated from Penny-Arcade

That troll is proof of the "Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory"

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Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory

Normal Person+Anonymity+Audience=Total Fuckwad

Proof that Plato's Ring of Gyges was a prophecy.

In Plato's Republic, Socrates proposes what a person would do if they were given the Ring of Gyges, which turns a person invisible and essentially anonymous. Would they still have an incentive to be just under such circumstances? We now know what's like because of the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory. Let's just say, the results do not reflect well on man.

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Dead internet theory

Yeahyeah the abstract money generator..... Yeah.... Oops 🤷 ♂️ I mean... He was talking a bunch of shit about how special and competent you have to be to make money.... You know? And I'm like the greatest mind the world has ever seen... So, like, the scholarly work is like... Really high level stuff...

Hym "Hahaha! Yeah, they're hookin up thay abstract money generator aren't they? Yeah... That's fucking hilarious. Kind of sad but, you know... In a cage... And what not... I think it has a different name though... Dead internet theory? It's like 'Something forest theory' or something, right?"

Dead Internet Theory

Everything online right now is fake. Algorithmic curation, bot activity, filters and AI generated content. Are you communicating with a real person or code?

The Internet died years ago but nobody noticed, Dead Internet Theory is real...

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