Irish People Time

An inability to leave the house, making one chronically late for everything. Affliciting almost exclusively the Irish population. In large groups, it becomes a disease, taking hours to leave the house as people have to constantly go back in to get keys, re-straighten their hair, change shoes, check that the D.V.R. is recording, etc.
Also known as IPT.

"Dude, why were you so late last night?"

All of the O'Connor clan came to the party. Can you imagine 19 people on Irish People Time trying to leave the house at once?

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Irish Closing Time

The Act of Finding EVERY Drink in the Bar and Consuming it before A. the bar closes, B.someone throws you out or C. you pass out. This includes stealing other drinks as well.

John ended up in the hospital last night because he stole a mans drink during Irish Closing Time.

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Irish Timing

When all the clocks are slightly wrong, and everyone's running slightly late (or early), but somehow everything happens at the right moment and everything works out.

1. I was running 20 minutes late, had lost my umbrella, and was worried about leaving the cat alone. Then Jim came back but he'd forgotten his keys. I let him in, he stayed home and looked after the cat and lent me his umbrella. Irish timing saved me again.
2. There was a car crash delaying the bus I was gonna take, so I didn't make it to the event. Turns out it was my Irish Timing. The event had been cancelled and I had a great night with my friends instead.