It Was My Shoe

Phrase often used as a poor excuse for flatulence. The phrase is used to make others believe that the fart they just heard was, in fact, a sound that was made from the farter's shoe.

The person who farted will then try desperately to make the same sound with their shoe, but it does not work.

Abby: *fart*
Drew: "Um, did you just fart?"
Abby: "No! It was my shoe."
*Tries desperately to rub her shoe against the floor to imitate the noise of a fart.*
Drew: "You are fucking disgusting."

6👍 1👎

my shoe

Original cell phone - Get Smart's Maxwell Smart had a Shoe Phone. Hence my shoe

Leaving the house now, you can get me on my shoe

11👍 4👎

widen my shoes

To go on the prowl and seek the attention of another woman behind the back of your current relationship.

Vic said he was going to” widen my shoes” while Mary was at work on Friday.

My Shoes Squeaked

1. Some peoples shoes squeak or make squeaking sounds while they are walking or running.

2. Someone farts while walking and blames it on their shoes squeaking.

1. These new shoes I'd bought makes squeaking noises while I'm walking.

2. My girlfriend fartex while she was walking down the hall and blamed the fart sounds on her shoes and said "My shoes squeaked".

kiss my shoes

Something you tell a person when you want to show your dominance over them. Most popularly known for its use in the movie "The Fast and the Furious", where Johnny Tran (portrayed by Rick Yune) forces Ted, the guy with the engines, to tell him where there are.

Can easily be used as a response to anyone who asks you for a favor, or to make them feel like an insignificant human being. Or more simply, to get those Spoon engines for your Honda S2000 to make it a ten second car.

Hey Ted, kiss my shoes?

68👍 6👎

squeeze my shoes

Heard more in past decades than currently--but NOT a dead expression, by any means. Although you'll likely only hear it come from the lips of the white, local-born folks living in the bigger, Northeast metro areas of the US.

The best definition is no definition. Better to put it this way: consider it the cleaner mouthed, more socially acceptable (especially in mixed company) way of saying "Don't bust my balls." The two expressions are virtually interchangeable.

1PM, Steve shows up 3 hours late for work...
The Boss: "Good morning, Steve--glad you could join us."
Steve: "C'mon boss, don't squeeze my shoes, will ya? You worked me for 13 hours yesterday and I didn't get home until 7AM."

tie my shoe

The act of getting down on one knee and performing a blow job.
Particularly between two men.

While walking in the woods one day...
Ben: "Can someone tie my shoe?"
Sam (male): "SSHHHHHURE!"

74👍 16👎