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jackoff all trades

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.

"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's an divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."

by 3sqzper October 26, 2007

13👍 3👎


Jackoff all trades

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.

A play on "Jack of all trades, master of none."

"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's a divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."

by 3sqzper November 14, 2007

16👍 15👎


Jackoff of all trades

Somebody who believes that they can multitask, but in attempting many different endeavors, fails at all or most of them. A failed polymath. An incompetent, wannabe rennaissance man.

"Dude thinks he's the jack of all trades. He screwed up the math on the cash register, he can't speak spanish for shit, and after he tried to tune up my car, I had to take it in and spend $200 bucks before it would start again. He's the jackoff of all trades."

by Hank the Monster October 18, 2009

21👍 1👎