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The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.
Forget the minus.
Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"
The bigger the house, the hotter the girl(s).
We should totally hit that house up tomorrow, don't forget: Jake's Law.
The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.
The law is a certified law.
Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"
Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.
Just remember it.
Ian: "Damn man, I just cannot think of the capital of Mexico right now."
Rasheed: "Use Jake Piper's third law."
Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.
Infinitely accurate time.
So time could be e^3 days, etc.
Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"