Jobcentre Plus

Great British institution that is usually found in most towns and cities.
Jobcentre plus offices are usually uninviting, depressing grey buildings that are responsible for getting the unemployed into work. It is staffed by patronising little tinpot dictators who think that every unemployed person is a workshy idle bum and that there are 5 jobs available for every dole claimant. They love threatening benefit sanctions for those that will not accept part time temporary agency work for national minimum wage.
The only vocabulary known to these staff is "What have you been doing to actively seek work since you last came - I must remind you that if I decide you have not been doing enough to actively seek work I will stop your benefit"
Jobcentre plus usually employs security staff and doormen to throw you out if you complain that your benefits have been sanctioned or you do not agree with a dictators decision.
Jobcentre plus is usually surrounded by chavs in their trackies smoking reefers and single teenage mothers with their kids and prams, and is generally a pretty unpleasant place to visit, as you are always made to feel guilty that you are even there in the first place.
Jobcentre plus is supposed to help you find work by offering a tailored support package to support each individual. In reality Jobcentre Plus expects you to find your own job and woe betide anyone that cant find their own job - as then you will be deemed to be in breach of your jobseekers agreement and benefit sanctions will ensue. Anyone who has their benefits sanctioned by Jobcentre Plus is then expected to steal and commit crime to be able to live.

You want to come out with us today Dave?
Nah, I've gotta go up Jobcentre Plus to get me benefits sanctioned!

74👍 5👎