A Joel Heyman is an insanely confusing individual, resorting to mere grunts and screams to communicate. A Joel Heyman is easily calmed by large quantities of Trail Mix and cookies. Joel Heyman feeds on the souls of those smarter then he, and on many occasions has sucked the soul out of President George Bush.
Guy 1: That guy is soooo mean and stupid!
Guy 2: He's totally a Joel Heyman
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A Joel Heyman refers to a person, typically an increasingly attractive man, that one might find themselves developing a heavy desire to watch take a shower..
"Your boss is pretty hot."
"Yeah... he's totally a Joel Heyman."