John Champlain

Mystical investigator, machinist and at times right-hand-man to Chicken McGreen. Splits his time between delivering machine parts to various businesses and assisting Chicken McGreen in his chaotic conquests. Also travels to classified locations gathering information about rival factions and oppressors.

John Champlain: Here you goooo here's your flexile elbow joint for your Smashmatic 4000!
Smashmatic 4000 Owner/Operator: Why are you singing?
John Champlain: No reason, but I did just resurrect Dahn Turgenson!
Smashmatic 4000 Owner/Operator: Oh ok, makes sense.

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