john irwin

Someone who can't count, can't pay attention and thinks iPhones are for high class citizens. Someone who lies on their taxes and receives food stamps. Overall a scam artist/ mathematician. A horrible gift giver who often gives pasta for Valentines day.

Friend 1: I saw you lie on your taxes.
Friend 2: Man, I ain't no John Irwin!

Friend 1:What is 2x4?
Friend 2: 24
Friend 1: Real John Irwin aren't you?

Friend 1: I wish my Samsung would turn on.
Friend 2: Sure is a shame you got stuck with that peasant shit. iPhone are for only the high class citizens in America. #johnirwin

Boyfriend: I have a surprise for you, babe. It's not chocolate.
Girlfriend: Pasta?
Boyfriend: Yeah rep'n my original OG John Irwin.
Girlfriend: You know I don't eat carbs, right?