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John Mayer it!
A way to turn any guitar song into something that people will relate to. Gets the guitar player instant pussy and respect from his borderline emo friends.
Them: "Man, I don't think anyone likes this song I wrote."
You: "John Mayer it! You'll get laid in no time."
Them: "Thanks man, that really worked."
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John Mayer is a controversial artist known for being a douche from 2002-2013. However, once he realized what a douche he was and moved out to Montana and away from Hollywood, the man finally focused on the music and the meaning rather than the ladies and the swooning. His three latest albums are works of art and he’s trying to be a better person. In 2019, it is safe to say he’s now a hilarious and nice dude (at least as he appears to the public). Catch him on Instagram live or on tour, seems like he’s always doing one of the two.
Person1: “I hate John Mayer because his music is overplayed and he’s pretty gross. I’m sick of hearing ‘waiting on the world to change’”
Person2: “That was years ago! Have you given ‘Born and Raised’ a try? Also, he hasn’t had a terrible breakup since 2013!”
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Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps,
Praying the floor won't fall through, again
My mother accused me of losing my mind,
But I swore I was fine, you paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game,
But you changed the rules every day
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight, well I stopped picking up, and this song is to let you know why
*chorus*
Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said "run as fast as you can"
*chorus*
I should've known
You are an expert at sorry,
And keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry
Have tired, lifeless eyes
'Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me,
So don't look now, I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress, cried the whole way home.
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known, you should've known
Don't you think I was too young? You should've known
swiftie: ughhh john mayer’s a dick
other swiftie: yess 100% omg
swiftie:let’s get married
other swiftie: OK BUTCH LEGGO
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John Mayer is a small artist known for traumatizing a 19 year old girl when he was 32. The 19 year old girl just happened to be one of the biggest artists of our time, Taylor Swift. The term John Mayer is used to describe a male with tendency of grooming young girls.
“He likes that little girl, what a John Mayer”
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The epitome of a dickless faggot.
Man, Boy George is such a John Mayer.
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Another term for jackass or dipshit
John Mayer is a jackass and a dipshit.
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John Mayer is a complete square. Ironically, his first album was entitled "Room for Squares."
What a Jackass.
Stupid Girl: Dude i just love the lyrics to this new John Mayer song?!?!
Guy: What are they?
Stupid Girl: "Omg I love you. Your body is like a roller coaster! OMG weee im entering the vagina funhouse!! Sometimes i stare at you from afar!" OMG He is so thoughtful! what good lines!!
Guy: sigh..
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