John Thumb

Defined as the act of releasing one’s bowels in a manner where the shape of said excrement perfectly fits into the bottom of said toilet, plugging up the hole well enough to prevent successful flushing. Similar to the tale of the boy holding back a leaking wall with his thumb, this unintentionally shaped turd plug seats itself tight enough to hamper draining of thy marble throne.

Once I was finally able to push out that brown submarine from my ass, the dam turdpedo clogged my toilet so bad that my plumber said he doesn’t respond to JOHN THUMB service calls.

john thumb

A perfectly shaped shit which falls from one's out spout, sinking in your toilet water and clogging it. This dense anal crueller strategically seals thy throne drain just as that small boys thumb held back a wall of water.

The immense relief I felt after finally birthing the largest shit in history, was squashed when my toilet couldn't flush overflowing from my John Thumb.