KEGS Nuneaton

KEGS Nuneaton is in a fierce battle with North Warwickshire College on two fronts. The first being the race to produce the highest number of Marxists to be sent out into the wider Nuneaton area. The second being the race to produce the highest net output of vape fumes in Warwickshire. Both colleges have been so successful in this quest that both of their smoking areas have been granted protected status by the Association of English Vapers. What sets KEGS Nuneaton above North Warwickshire college, though, is the ability of its students to 'infect' Nuneaton with these traits. Whereas the sole requirement of North Warwickshire college when it was granted planning permission was to build it as far away from public amenities as possible, KEGS Nuneaton escaped that restriction and was allowed to be built just 500 yards from the infamous Nuneaton town centre. As a result of this, Nuneaton town centre resembles the sky above a coal factory chimney with the levels of vape fumes emitted at lunchtimes when KEGS' students swarm the town in search of either a Greggs steak bake or a McDonalds double cheeseburger, both much-loved food items amongst Nuneatonians. The fume situation has become so bad that Nuneaton Council have been forced to install specialist air quality control systems, manned by designated 'Vape Wardens', tasked with preventing an excessive proportion of vapes being used in within the perimeter of McDonalds and Greggs respectively.

*bus pulls up*
Driver: "Where you off to?"
Student: "KEGS Nuneaton please."
Driver: *activates vape addict alert system*
*vape addict alert system blares*
*Vape Warden Mobile Deployment vehicle pulls up*
Vape Wardens: (in unison) "Empty your pockets!"
*student drops vape on floor*
*student is shot.*