Kimberly Clark

A specific type of bowel movement, typically produced by humans on a zero fiber diet, which has a texture consistent with organic peanut butter - this require the usage of nearly an entire role of toilet paper. This is of great financial benefit to Kimberly Clark - the worlds largest manufacturer of toilet paper.

One week my diet consisted entirely of saltine crackers, peanut butter, Oreo cookies, pretzels and sourdough bread. This resulted in my producing 1-2 Kimberly Clarks per day and forced a diet change rich in Brussels sprouts and Sauerkraut.

A date with Kimberly Clark

A euphemism for masturbation.

Kimberly Clark is the manufacturer of Kleenex, a rather-disposable tissue brand which makes a pleasurable cum rag.

Except in Canada.

Spending the night with Kimberly Clark is therefore equivalent to spending the night with Rosie Palm. Or Palmela Handerson. Or doing the five-finger shuffle.

You want a date with Kimberly Clark?

No, no, no... in Soviet Canuckistan, Kleenex discard YOU!!