Laker Ice Bandit

Particularly malevolent consumers of the Ontario beer brand Laker Ice. Fueled by high alcohol content, low disposable income, and a passionate desire to purchase and consume more alcohol, Laker Ice Bandits are well known to police and local residents to frequently engage in petty crime, theft, and grifting. Crushed alcoholic beverage containers and evidence of rampant public urination are a telltale sign that one has entered the vicinity of one or more Laker Ice Bandits.

Aaron: Ayo Dylan, make sure you lock the garage before you head to bed tonight. I don't want a Laker Ice Bandit stealing my bike.

Dylan: For sure dude, I saw one roaming around our backyard last night

Laker Ice Bandit

An unsavory member of society, typically from the Canadian province of Ontario. Named for the distinctive black can of Laker Ice beer, which is known for having the highest ABV-cost ratio of any beer available in the province.

Laker Ice bandits can typically be observed engaging in theft, pretty crime, and general grifting. When confronted, they may also become aggressive. They can be observed in most medium-to-major sized downtown areas in Ontario, and are frequently spotted near liquor stores.

Plaz: What was that racket I heard last night?

Ratte: Don't worry dude, it was just a Laker Ice Bandit collecting the cans D-Beers left in the backyard

Plaz: No dude, I swear I heard him in the garage

Ratte: OH FUCK, he stole my bike!