Law of Relativity

The law one should consider before posting a comment on someone's Facebook photo or status owing to the fact that his/her relatives and family might read it thereby avoiding (or promoting) humiliation. Humiliation may not always end up to the one being commented to; in some cases the one commenting might wind up deactivating his/her Facebook account.

- In accordance with the law of relativity, I'm tidying up my Facebook wall.

- The law of relativity kept him from posting nasty comments.

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Turd Law of Relativity

The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.

Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."

McGill's Law of Relatives

No matter whether the person knows it or not, they have a very attractive relative. This can be anything from a cousin, mother, uncle, and so forth.

Man, I just got back from the family reunion. McGill's Law of Relatives is going strong in my family!