Lincoln Log-flume

A very exciting technique to liven up any relationship, If things are looking down, suggest this to your partner. The lincoln log flume takes days to prepare, beginning with sorting out your diet to decide how stirdy the log is, which is key! Firstly the male starts the manouver by placing his buttocks above a females chest and squeezing out a nice big turd. When the excretion is complete the lady raises her posture so that the crap is sitting nicely above the chesticles. Then the male will stand above the head and begin to urinate on the womans chest, making the poop down the ladies body, replicating the image of a log flume. If the womans tits arent big enough, get a jacobs cracker and place it below the turd to stop it sliding down prematurely, The crap cracker can be eaten after if your a little bit sick.

The wife asked me to spice up our bedroom antics, i suggested a lincoln log-flume and then the bitch divorced me when she found out what it was!

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