Lionel Columbus

Distant uncle of Cristopher Columbus

Discovered the country Curaçao, Nicaragua and Estonia all in the space of 1 year

De Paul: "I normally call my boyfriend 'Lionel Columbus' because we find countries that have never made human contact"
Messi: "My boyfriend Rodrigo de Paul and I discovered Curaçao just recently"
De Paul: "Where is Curaçao again??"
Messi: "I forgot since they're so small and irrelevant"
De Paul: "It's ok, now let me give you head"