Livepool

Deadpool, but janky as fuck and his powers suck. He can't take a single pinch without his head falling off. And when he does, he gets infected so surviving is hella useless. He can't eat one burger without his colon exploding out his asshole. He also is so weak that he pisses blood.

Jake: Hey wanna watch deadpool?
Carlos: Nah man i'm watchin' this guys shit his heart out!
Jake: Livepool is shit