Northern Somalian Lobster Slap

This sexual technique is a bastardization of the traditional Somalian Lobster Slap.

During intercourse, one partner grabs a lobster that had been previously concealed somewhere close by and slaps the other person/persons across the face with it.

This technique usually does NOT result in an orgasm for anyone but the lobster.

Rubber bands on the claws are optional.

man 1: "man, i was with this fox last night and she told me she has a difficult time reaching orgasm."

man 2: "don't use the Northern Somalian Lobster Slap! it doesn't work! and if you do, make sure to use rubber bands on the claws. my wife made that mistake. once."

man 2 points to where his left ear used to be.

8👍 9👎

Lobster slap

When you go to have sex but they've had crabs for more than 8 weeks

Bill: That prostitute just lobster slapped me
Joe: fuuuckkk man
Bill: It's gonna take weeks to get rid of it