Matress

The Matress is a system. And that system is designed for 2 things.
That system is there to keep us comfortable at night when we sleep, but is also designed to keep us awake, to think about how many more pillows you need.
Were you listening, neo, or were you looking at that pillow in red?

I slept on The Matress last night.

72👍 50👎

Matress

Something my brother soils each and every night.

Ahh.

70👍 61👎

matressable

Worthy of having sex with. Not necessarily on a matress or bed, but hence the name.

Bill: Yo, Joe, what do you think of that brunette over there?
Joe: Definitely matressable, man! I'd love to get me a piece of that!

matress

a dildo

i don't know why women and gays love matresses so much they aren't like real ones.

8👍 12👎

flesh matress

the town pump

that chicks on her back so much she's a flesh matress

Hotel Matress

A fragrance created by Lady Gaga that smells like semen and blood.

Seth Myers(1):Excuse Me, but by any chance are you wearing Hotel Matress?

Seth Myers(2):No I'm not.

Seth Myers(1): So It's Just Semen and Blood?

12👍 1👎

frat matress

A college girl, or townie who spends most of her time under 1 or more frat boys.

My roomate is such a frat matress, if i put her under a blacklight the girl would glow.

46👍 5👎