Magic Dickskin

A funnier/sleazier way of saying "no condom."

Option: You pretend to roll it on, like in those Trojan Ecstasy commercials where the dude with the white gloves pantomimes putting on a condom when there is nothing there. If you are drunk enough, the next morning you might have actually tricked yourself into believing that you wore a condom.

"That chick was a little sketchy, did you wrap it up?"

"Yup, I used the trusty old magic dickskin!"