Any band that is generic, corporate pop, often with autotuned 'singing' and music that sounds like it was written by a committee of following a survey of deaf teen girls' music preferences.
A: What's that shit on the radio?
B: I don't know, Maroon 5.
A: The band Maroon 5?
B: I don't know. Some sell-out bullshit 'music'! What's the difference what the current version is called, just change that shit!
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Maroon 5 is a band that has a goal to give ear cancer to the largest amount of people possible (pretty intuitive if you ask me!). You can compare it to Cardi Bโs signature sound of jazz and funk, also called junk.
1. I just listened to โMoves like Jaggerโ and now I want to die!
2. I just got diagnosed with ear cancer after listening to Maroon 5โs new song!
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They are a band. They used to be amazing, making songs like "Sunday Morning", "This Love", "She Will be Loved", and all of the other songs on their first album "Songs about Jane". Now they are shit, making songs like "Moves like Jagger".
*On my Ipod* Friend: What are you listening to?
Me: Maroon 5, back when they were good.
Friend: I don't know who they are, can I listen?
Me: Of course.
Friend: OMG they are awesome! What do they sound like now?
*Youtube, Moves like Jagger* Me: ...This...*Cry*
Friend: Oh god. Why.
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A band that used to be fantastic.
Maroon 5 actually formed at the camp I used to go to (French Woods Festival) and released a phenomenal first album in Songs About Jane. It's hard to describe exactly how much that album means to me. It was one of my favorite CD's back when I was growing up, and I still love that album! It stands the test of time that well! The songs (with the exception of "Must Get Out" and "She Will Be Loved") were/are very well written both musically and lyrically. The sound on that album is basically like a mix of funk, alternative, and pop-rock. The result: one of the most unique albums of this generation.
However lately, they have been drifting further and further away from that classic sound I know and love to the point where I feel uncomfortable still referring to this band as "Maroon 5". Their songs have become really watered down and stripped from everything I liked about Songs About Jane. I've reached the conclusion that the band needs to break up so singer, Adam Levine can go solo and continue to go down this sell-out route himself. It's not like he NEEDS the name "Maroon 5" for recognition. For fuck's sake, he's the only guy anyone gives a shit about. And he's a judge on The Voice, so he's big enough of a celebrity on his own.
Maroon 5 today is basically an Adam Levine solo project. While I don't mind when "Moves Like Jagger" comes on the radio if by any chance I am even listening (it's actually pretty fuckin' catchy!), this isn't the Maroon 5 that I've been a fan of since elementary school- and am still a fan of to this date.
If you asked me what my favorite Maroon 5 song is, I would say "The Sun". The lyrics are wonderful, I like the tone, I like the beat, and I like whatever amp setting the guitar is played through. Unfortunately, we won't be hearing songs like that from them ever again unless they get their shit together. We'll just be stuck with songs like "Payphone" and "One More Night". Despite my feelings about what this band has done in recent years, nothing will affect my judgement of Songs About Jane, an album in consider to be a classic.
I miss early Maroon 5.
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The band that Lance Bass and George Micheal have erotic fantasies to. Words cannot describe how terrible this group is. They call themselves Funk, but sound more like downs-syndromed Reggae laced with mainstream Pop. Their fanbase consists of poor, helpless junior high school girls who don't have souls.
Maroon 5 make the Beach Boys look badass.
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When 5 males decide to have a male orgy. When this occurs, they all expel their bowels on each other whilst cumming everywhere.
Adam Levine: GUYS! GUYS! We should have a male orgy!!!
*Orgy begins*
Adam Levine: AAAAGH! AAAAGH! *poop comes from his butt hole* after this, we should make a band! It will be called Maroon 5 because there is 5 of us, and our penises are all brown from the poop.
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A pop/rock/indie band (formerly known as Kara's Flowers) made-up of:
Adam Levine - vocals, rhythm guitar
Jesse Carmichael - keys
Mickey Madden - bass guitar
Matt Flynn - drums
James Valentine - lead guitar
As of 2011, they have 3 studio albums - Songs About Jane, It Won't Be Soon Before Long, and Hands All Over. All of their songs are fantastic, and all you have to do is listen to them if you don't believe me.
Maroon 5 is also AMAZING live!
J: Brianna, what are you listening to on your iPod?
B: Maroon 5, of course! I have all of the songs on shuffle
J: Isn't that what you did yesterday? Don't you ever get tired of their music?
B: NO!!
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