Mary Kay Whipped

A truly demoralizing version of pussy whipped. A man who is pussy whipped will spend moderate amounts of money and miss occasional important events at the whim of his wife. However, a man who is Mary Kay whipped will take it to the next level, then to several higher levels still. He will go bankrupt numerous times, miss so much work that he loses his job, and lose touch so completely with his friends that they think they’ve missed his funeral; all in support of his female master’s participation in the cult/pyramid scheme world of Mary Kay, Avon, Tupperware, Pampered Chef, etc. While his involvement starts out gradually at first, it soon explodes into weekly parties where he is using vacation time or missing poker nights with his buddies to prepare finger foods and keep the kids “out of the way.” The cost starts gradually, too. It grows from a $200 “starter kit” into taking over one bedroom, then two. Before long, he has to sell his motorcycle and boat to add a huge room to the house to store all of the paraphernalia. As if that is not bad enough, his wife then must escalate her attendance and purchases at her girlfriends’ cult meetings/parties. As they each move up their respective pyramids, it requires a more significant investment by their friends’ male funds providers. If you ever meet a man who is Mary Kay whipped, ask him where his nuts are. Bet your bottom dollar that they are securely stored in the glovebox of a pink Cadillac that cost him approximately $675,000.

Where's Matt been? We really need him here and working on this project. Plus we're all going out and watching the game after work tonight.

Oh his wife is having a Mary Kay party. He had to take a week of vacation to take care of the kids so she had time to create snazzy place settings and make gift baskets for the attendees. I hear that he isn't even allowed to watch the game at home.

Are you shitting me?! Call HR and see if we can ask the next guy we interview whether or not he is Mary Kay whipped.

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