masticate

To grind or chew. It sounds like masturbate so dumb fucks who are too lazy to figure out its real definition assume it means masturbate. It's a funny word and has power.

I masticated my food.

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masticate

To chew, or to (literally) move the jaw up and down in a chewing motion.

It can easily be mistaken for masturbate. A very good word to play around with, it is; so much that I played around with a newspaper teacher's mind by using it in a piece of writing.

You're a masticator, aren't you?
Yes, you are, you bad, bad man.
You like to masticate meat.
Just admit it, yeah, yeah.

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masticate

Main Entry: mas·ti·cate
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -cat·ed; -cat·ing
Etymology: Late Latin masticatus, past participle of masticare, from Greek mastichan to gnash the teeth; akin to Greek masasthai to chew -- more at MANDIBLE
Date: 1649
transitive senses
1 : to grind or crush (food) with or as if with the teeth in preparation for swallowing : CHEW
2 : to soften or reduce to pulp by crushing or kneading
intransitive senses : CHEW
- mas·ti·ca·tion /"mas-t&-'kA-sh&n/ noun
- mas·ti·ca·tor /'mas-t&-"kA-t&r/ noun

Do you hob nob while masticating your comestibles?

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masticate

from the latin verb "masticare"; To chew as in food.
This is also a pun on the word masturbate, which makes it a great conversation starter.

In our society, families gather around a table three times a day and masticate together.

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masticate

1. To chew (usually before swallowing or spitting)
2. Sounds close to wordMasturbate/word (good for puns)

"I masticated over a hot plate for over an hour the other night."

"woah thats impressive"

*spits out food*

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masticate

uh yeah, it means "chew". that is the literal definition. this isn't a slang word, you morons.

I'd like to masticate the heads off of all the people who make bad submissions to this site.

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masticate

To grind teeth or chomp.
Most often used as a word that sounds like masturbate but is not.

Person A: "I hate that people who masticate!"
Person B: "Dude, you don't ... you know."
Person A: "Seriously, look it up. It's not what you think."
Person B: "Than what do you call --"
Person A: "Nevermind!"

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