Matias Janitschek

Matias Janitschek (Assholius Erectus) is an animal native to the eastern United States, and is well known for being found wherever their is a copious amount of alcohol. Main food groups are beer, small children and promisquous human females. Very dangerous party animal, it is suggested that if you see one you immediatley call your local animal control, police department or national guard center. DO NOT attempt to capture as a matias' jaws can crush titamium. If you find yourself cornered by a matias start praying because religion is the only thing a matias fears.

Girl 1: Who is that guy drenched in beer and blood?

Girl 2: thats a Matias Janitschek!!!!!

Girl 1: Why's he covered in blood?

Girl 2: He must've mated with Christine!!! RUN!

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