Matthew 18

Noun: Matthew 18:15. "If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault."

Verb: To Matthew 18 someone is to make someone aware of their faults in a way that is both confrontational and obnoxious. Whether this person kissed your girlfriend, drank the last beer in your fridge, or simply sent you a game invite on Facebook , no transgression is too petty to Matthew 18 them. The most effective way of Matthew 18ing someone is to jab your middle and index fingers deep in their sternum while listing their offenses loudly in a public setting, such as a lunchroom, grocery store, or library. And since you are backed by scripture, you are justified.

Charlie used my bathroom and left some leopard spots in the toilet, so I Matthew 18’d the bastard.

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Matthew 21:18

A part of the bible where Jesus curses a fig tree for not bearing fruit when needed. 21:18 is seen by many as a funny or memorable part of the bible, but it has good meaning to it.

Matthew 21:18
Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.

When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.

Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”