Measuring my big toe

t is a secretive way of saying masturbating aka. fapping, beating the meat, fapulishus.
It is comonly used by a group of men when a rare female is present, to not scare the rear specimen away.
Even though it might be little weird or suspicious it is clearly more safe and unnoticeable way of allerting your fellow dudes to not disturb or help you cover up.
When you use it in a sentence you will most likely bend it, in the usage they only bend the "measuring"; i measured, we are measuring, they measured, i am going to measure.

"Ey bro i gotta go and measure my big toe, be right back."
"Keep Stacy entertained i have to measuring my big toe."
"Ey Jackson i just spotted Ben and Charles, looks like they are measuring their big toes"