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How to best sum up Michael Bay? Transformers, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon.
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1. A person who is incapable of complex and/or abstract thought, and focuses on pure visual and tactile stimulation.
2. A movie director who, in order to appreciate his dumb shock and awe style, you must either be stupid enough to think on his level or smart enough not to care how intellectual a movie about robots and explosions is.
1. He never talks about anything other than sex and explosions. That guy is such a Michael Bay!
2. My pre-schooler thinks on a higher level than Michael Bay.
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Definition:
1. A gigantic piece of excrement weighing in at over 200 million Courics in accordance to his last movie's highly inflated effects budget (1x Katie Couric is about 2.5 lbs of fecal matter)
2. A director who provides proof that there is no god
3. A talentless hack who completely misses the point
4. A director who lacks any substance what-so-ever
Example quotes to help you see the light:
1) Michael Bay: An 18 wheeler spins out of control and its all like BRAAAAGHHH and this huge tanker full of diamonds goes BLAAAAAAAAARRGHH!!
General: Those aren't ideas those are special effects...
Michael Bay: I don't understand the difference...
General: I know you don't
2) Michael Bay gets to keep making movies and Cartman gets his own theme park; there is no God
3) I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, when he made Pearl Harbor. I miss you more than that movie missed the point. And that's an awful lot, girl.
4) That movie was so bad that it actually made me enjoy watching Soul Plane
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An untalented director.
Except for The Rock, Michael Bay has made nothing but crap. His directing style is poor, as he literally believes that an edit every second is the best way to make a film. I don't think it's possible to physically count the number of cuts and explosions in his films within one human lifetime. The guy can't even make a decent movie with the insane budget he gets to work with. His movies, albiet entertaining on some level, are the equivalent to an empty orgasm - completely unsatisfying, equally frustrating and definitely not worth the effort.
The guy needs to either expand on his predictable, unvaried style of filmmaking (although, I can't imagine him having the balls or the talent to do so) or just stop wasting good money and go away. Without this ass-load of money invested in his movies, Bay can't do sh!t. His inability to improvise, his lack of creativity, and his need for a big budget (because he's too incompentant to come up with something impressive with less funding) makes him the most pointless and deficient person in this business.
Michael Bay's films suck!
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(adj) A movie that is profitable, but at the same time painful to watch.
I wish I never saw that Michael Bay movie.
I would rather die than watch another Michael Bay movie.
I would rather watch an abortion being performed than 10 minutes of a Michael Bay movie.
In hell all movies are Michael Bay movies.
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The most famous case of the effects of ADHD on human development and functionality. Bay's ADHD affliction is often reflected in his films.
Guy 1: Dude this movie is twitchy and sporadic. It jumps from place to place and nothing is in frame for longer than five seconds.
Guy 2: Yeah, that's Michael Bay for you. Don't blame him though, he's got a problem.
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(verb) Doing a Michael Bay is a term used to describe directors that aim on style over substance, particularly in the region of sex and explosions. If your film has loads of explosions and sex appeal, yet little story, you are basically doing a Michael Bay.
(director's name here) totally did a Michael Bay on that film. Everything in it was just for the sake of it.
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