Microsoft Zealot

A person who has a life beyond computers and is not confined by a religious addiction to unusable hippie freeware with little functional use or an overpriced trendy combination of hardware that was top of the line two years ago. The typical Microsoft zealot sees the computer as a means to an end, a business tool and home appliance, and not a white false idol perched in a prominent part of your “living” room that you pray impresses women. It generally won’t. The typical Microsoft zealot has tried this approach and failed miserably and has moved on to conventions on Microsoft technology where they hope to score with a barista working in the lobby. She is the only woman in the room, or at least the only obvious person of the female gender. Microsoft zealots tend to understand what TCO, ROI, economy of scale, and integration mean unlike their fanatical counterparts on the other side of the virtual fence. Microsoft zealots drive nice cars but have never been laid in them, nor is it likely. They are, however, eternally hopeful.

“Hey, I’m kind of a Microsoft zealot, do you want to ditch this Powerpoint presentation and head to the lingerie convention a block down at Harrah’s? I have the route mapped out on my iPhone.”

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