Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert

One of four hosts for the beerists podcast who is 90% Polish and 10% Japanese and goes by Maiku. When aroused, he has the ability to use his dirty dick as a Katana, Tonto blade, a ruler and a thermometer for toilets to tell you what the temperature of the toilet water is and how deep the toilet is. Be careful not to say Midori three times in a row or else he will show up in his Kimono and Zori and strangle you with his chain wallet or his dreadlocks which he keeps in his closet. His 24andMe is written in Hentai.

Man 1: "Hey man what are you listening to?"
Man 2: "The Beerists Podcast..."
Man 1: "Oh! I love that show! That Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert guy is soooo white!"
Man 2: "You mean the Japanese guy?"
Man 1: "Uhh... He's definitely white, man..."
Man 2: "Oh okay sure and I can Davis Dip my entire right arm."
Man 1: "Psh! Whatevs brotein shake!"
Man 2: "Well I'll talk to you later, here."
**Man 2 hands Man 1 a small origami swan and runs away**
**Man 1 unfolds origami swan and reads aloud the following**
"MIDORI! MIDORI! MIDORI!"
**Mike 'Dirty Dick' Lambert appears and chooses to strangle Man 1 with his chain wallet and vanishes leaving a small pile of Hot Topic coupons, but not in a pejorative way**