Milk the ferret

A colloquial, if you can call it that, term for vicious masturbation.

1.) Carl: Jesus Christ Mark, I was milkin' the ferret the other day when my eighty year old nan walked in on the vinegar stroke. How she bought the shampoo spillage story I'll never know.

2.) Swithin: Are priests allowed to milk the ferret, as long as they don't think lustful thoughts mum?

Mum: No, can you?