minnesota salad

Generously coating your lover with a thick coat of marshmallows, mayonnaise, and clementine oranges and vigorously riding them like a polar bear all the way to Duluth.

Dustin asked his girlfriend for a Minnesota Salad and had mayonaise stuck in his ear for a week.

Minnesota Salad

Generally a marshmallow and jello based salad with carrot shavings and orange slices. It usually sits behind a deli counter glass window. It never gets ordered but because it’s company policy to carry this ridiculous salad: they just keep it rotating in the deli case for weeks. It has a long shelf life due to all that sugar and jello. Mostly appeals to old people or Mormon potlucks.

Deli clerk: “Would you be in interested in a Minnesota salad?”
Customer: “god no! It looks like it’s a few months old!”